Jealousy
by bionic4ever
Summary: Post'Betrayal' story. Steve has returned to try and win back the only woman he's ever loved.
1. Chapter 1

**Jealousy**

Chapter One

Steve made it all the way to the hotel suite he'd planned to stay in until he found a new place to live. He checked in, took the suitcases and trunk inside and sat down on the bed with only one thought, loud and insistent, pounding in his head: _What the hell am I doing here?_ He couldn't believe he'd actually left Jaime.

It wasn't like he'd caught her in bed with Oscar, although they were probably there by now, since he had practically handed her over to him and walked away without a struggle. Jaime was the only woman Steve had ever loved, and he knew he had to rectify his mistake before it was too late. He left the luggage in the suite, got back into his car and broke the speed limit the entire way back to the house. He squealed the tires on purpose as the car roared into the driveway. He hoped they'd hear that and have enough sense to get dressed. Steve knew what was likely to be happening in there, and he had no desire to see it. He gave them a couple of minutes, then headed up the sidewalk. He'd left his key on the coffee table (never intending to return) but for Steve this wasn't a problem. Rather than shatter the door, he kicked the doorknob with the same result: he gained entry into his own house.

Jaime and Oscar stood in the bedroom doorway. Jaime had merely wrapped herself in the sheet, but - thankfully - Oscar was partially dressed. Steve walked toward them and stood almost nose-to-nose with his former best friend. He was nearly quivering with the effort it took to not punch Oscar in the face. He looked him square in the eye, glaring with animosity, until he saw Oscar flinch. Then, Steve had only one thing to say to him:

**_"Get the hell out of my house!" _** He looked at Jaime and his whole face softened, along with his voice. "I'd really like it if you'd stay, just for a little while. I need to talk to you. Please?"

Jaime looked up at Oscar. "Don't let him make decisions for you - you're stronger than that," Steve told her. "And Oscar, I told you to get out. This is **_my_** house. Jaime, I don't know how long he's been influencing you, but I'm not asking for equal time, just a little while to talk to you - alone. After everything we've been through together, I think you can spare me one evening."

Jaime wasn't looking forward to facing him and seeing the pain she'd caused, but she knew Steve was right. "You'd better go," she told Oscar. "I'll be ok."

Oscar turned and kissed her on his way out the door, knowing how much that would get to Steve. To his credit, Steve said nothing and simply watched him go.

"I'm - gonna go get dressed," Jaime said in a shaky voice. When she re-joined him in the living room, Steve was standing by the fireplace, thinking over what he wanted to say.

"Jaime..." he began, her name catching in his throat as his heart ached for things to magically return to the way they used to be. Steve knew he'd need to make his own magic now. "I'm really sorry I left so quickly today. There were so many things I should've said; the most important being - I don't wanna lose you."

"Steve..."

"More than anything, I want you to be happy. If being with him is the only thing that's gonna do that, then I'll have to live with it. But if you stop and think it over, you might see I'm not the only one making mistakes here. We've been together since we were little kids. After everything we've accomplished, everything we've been through, are you really ready to throw it all away for...what? Passion? The excitement of something new? 'Cause it won't be new for very long." Steve walked over to where Jaime was standing. "And if it's the passion, I can give you passion."

Before Jaime could protest, Steve grabbed her tightly and kissed her with all the passion they'd ever shared poured into that one single kiss. He bent her over backwards as the kiss grew deeper, and Jaime was shocked to feel her body and her heart responding, melting, wanting more. Steve didn't let her go until she could barely breathe. He saw the passion in her eyes and smiled at her triumphantly.

Steve caressed her face and looked directly into her eyes. "Are you _really_ ready to throw that away - to throw us away?" Tears began cascading down Jaime's cheeks, and Steve tenderly wiped them away. "I love you, Jaime. I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't love you."

"I - I love you, too..." she whispered. "I'm so confused."

"I'm not trying to force you into something you don't want. If you truly want Oscar, I'll accept that, and learn to deal with it. But please, make sure you've considered all your options before you decide. That's all I"m asking."

"I...don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"Promise me you'll think about it - all of it, not just his side?"

"I can't handle this," she told him through fresh tears. Jaime bolted out the door at bionic speed and, leaving her car behind at the house, ran off blindly into the night.

------


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Steve was in Oscar's office at 8:00am - sharp - and handed Oscar a long, flat envelope. "My resignation," he said abruptly. "You're gonna find a way to make it go through and cancel my contract, unless you'd like to explain to the Secretary exactly what kind of a relationship you've developed with your female subordinate."

"Threats aren't your style, Steve -"

"Maybe not, but I can't take orders from what I now consider the lowest lifeform on the planet. How could I ever give you my trust or respect when you're willing to look your best friend right in the eye while you stab him in the back? I know breaking an OSI contract is about as easy as parting the Red Sea, but you're gonna find a way to do it."

Oscar sighed. "I'll do my best. By the way, would you let Jaime know I need to talk to her, please?"

"Don't try faking me out, Goldman. I know she's with you." Steve took a set of keys from his pocket and placed them on the desk. "Her car keys. She can pick the car up whenever; I won't bite."

"Now you aren't making sense," Oscar told him, looking puzzled. It hit both of them at the same time. "Jaime _is _at your house, isn't she?" Oscar asked, very slowly.

"She ran out last night, around 8:30. She was pretty upset."

"What'd you do to her?" Oscar asked accusingly.

"Me? You're the one who screwed with her head so she doesn't know up from down anymore! If anything's happened to her -" Steve stopped mid-sentence. "And this isn't helping us find her. Look, I'll make you a deal. We'll argue later, but let's find Jaime first."

"Maybe she checked into a hotel, to be alone for awhile?" Oscar suggested.

"Except, she didn't take her purse, her wallet or her credit cards..."

"Did you have an argument? How upset _was_ she, anyway?"

Steve cringed a little at the memory. "We didn't argue; just talked. But she was crying when she ran out. I'm...sure she's ok. She'll be back as soon as she's had some time to herself, and she'll probably laugh at both of us for worrying."

"I'm still worried," Oscar said quietly.

"Me too."

------

Jaime woke up with a startled jump, her muscles still and sore and her face deeply creased by the bark of the tree her head was resting on when she fell asleep. She had come down the the river to think, to try and sort out the jumble of different thoughts and feelings that threatened to overcome her. She really hadn't intended to fall asleep, but after she'd cried out all the tension, she just felt so _weary._ She was still confused and no closer to making up her mind than she'd been the night before. She had thought her decision was final, but Steve had managed to re-awaken the part of her heart that had always belonged to him. Now, she wanted nothing more than to go home, lay her head on a cool, soft pillow and sleep. But...where was home? The house she'd shared with Steve? Oscar's house? Maybe, for now, this river was the closest she would get to having a home.

------

"I called Jim and Helen," Steve told Oscar, "and she hasn't been in contact with either of them."

"She didn't check into any of the hotels or motels in DC, either," Oscar added. "Steve, you don't think she'd try to..." He couldn't finish the sentence, the thought too horrible to contemplate.

"Hurt herself? I doubt it." Steve thought for a few moments. "Oscar, how many men did you say are looking for her?"

"Fourteen. Everyone who was available."

"Tell them to concentrate on areas near water. Lakes, rivers, streams, even the ocean. Just a hunch. Meanwhile, I'm gonna take a ride back home to see if her car and her purse are still there."

Oscar nodded and picked up the phone to pass the information on to the search teams.

------

Jaime's ear picked up the sound of people nearby, several of them, and she tuned in to listen. "...and Goldman wants her found, like, yesterday..."

_Goldman!_ Oscar had them out looking for her already! Well, she was a big girl and could take care of herself just fine, thank you. She did plan to go back, but only when she had a firm decision that neither of them would be able to sway. Thinking quickly, she chose the tree with the lushest foliage and jumped as high as she could, grabbing a firm hold and nestling herself into a crook between two good, sturdy branches.

_You'll see me when I'm good and ready, Oscar, and not one second before!_

------


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Jaime waited in the tree until she heard the searchers get back in their car and drive away. She was utterly incensed. She was a grown adult, fully sane and healthy; didn't she have a right to some time to herself? Where did Oscar get off sending search teams to try and drag her back? She wasn't a fugitive, and she'd broken no laws.

Ok, so she'd gotten really upset before she took off, and maybe he was worried. He should know by now that she was capable of taking care of herself, but if he was that concerned, she'd handle it - right after she found something to eat.

------

In his car, while driving to the house, Steve couldn't help thinking that Oscar was going about this all wrong. Jaime would probably feel like a hunted animal and that could make her rebel and really run, when all she was doing now was holing up somewhere to do some thinking. Steve was positive his suggestion would've worked better. He'd asked Oscar to give him 24 hours to look for Jaime himself, or to allow her to come home on her own first.

Suddenly, half-way home, Steve had an inspiration. He stopped at a grocery store to get what he needed, and headed once again for home.

------

Jaime stood in the backyard of the house she'd called home for the last year, wishing she'd at least have taken her key and trying to decide which window to break. Then she remembered the door Steve had kicked the day before, and she went around to the front, jiggled the broken doorknob and the door popped open. Moving quickly, she grabbed a pen and paper from the desk and, as fast as a bionic hand could write (the pen was a blur moving across the page), she wrote two separate notes, sealed them in envelopes with a name on the front of each, and propped them up on the coffee table where Steve would be sure to find them.

Jaime grabbed her purse and then, changing her mind, set it back on the counter. If she did have to truly _run, _she didn't need to drag it along. Instead, she took the money out of her wallet and stuffed it in the pocket of her jeans.

Picking up her pace, she went into the kitchen, made a very fast sandwich, grabbed an apple and a few cookies and threw it all into a paper bag. She stuffed one more cookie in her mouth and grabbed two cans of soda - one for the bag and one to drink on the way - and left very quietly out the back door at the exact second Steve was walking in the front.

------

Steve's eyes were immediately drawn to the two white envelopes, one with his name on the front and the other for Oscar. "Jaime?" Steve searched the house, found the knife and crumbs where she'd made the sandwich and noted that her purse had been moved but was still left behind. Once he'd determined that Jaime was already gone, Steve picked up his envelope and sat down to read.

_Dear Steve,_

_I'm so sorry for running out last night without giving you the chance to say everything you needed to say. I couldn't handle looking at you, seeing the pain in your eyes and knowing I caused it. You don't deserve what I put you through. You're the kindest, most loving man I've ever known, and I wish none of this had ever happened. An apology doesn't begin to cover it, but I want you to know that I'm truly sorry. I've found a spot to sit and try to sort this mess out and I'm safe, so please tell Oscar to call off the dogs. I love you._

_Jaime_

Steve read the note twice and hugged her, even if it was only in his mind. Then he gathered what he needed and began putting his own plan into action.

------

Oscar was on the phone when Steve let himself into the inner office. "Yes, Mr. Secretary, I understand that. We'll find her. Right. I'll let you know." He hung up and looked at Steve. "Since you don't work here anymore, you can stop walking right in and start making appointments like the rest of civilization. For you, I believe I have an opening six months from next Tuesday."

"Sorry, but I thought you might wanna have this right away." Steve dropped the envelope onto the desk. "Oh, and I'm supposed to tell you to call off the dogs."

"What? You saw her? Is she...alright?"

"I don't know. She was at the house, but she was already gone when I got there. She left me a note, too, and said she was ok, and that you should call off the dogs. Oscar, your way is obviously not working. You're gonna scare her away, and we could both lose her - for good."

"Don't tell me how to do my job -"

"See, now that's the problem. This isn't a job; we're talking about one very confused human being. Probably very scared now, too, thanks to you."

Oscar rose from his chair and came around the desk. "So now you're blaming me for this? You're the one who couldn't keep Jaime happy."

"We were doing just fine until you decided to stick a dagger in my back, you son of -"

"You will NOT talk to me like that!" Oscar roared, "Employee or not! Not in this office! How'd you like to spend the next ten years in a tiny little cell, as a threat to national security?"

"How'd you like to spend the next ten years recovering from what you're just begging me to give you?"

Callahan sat at her desk in the outer office, too petrified to move. They'd grown loud enough that she could hear every word, and she wasn't sure if she should call Security or run for cover. She was only sure of one thing: one punch from Steve and it would be all over.

------


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Jaime sat serenely on the bank of the river, eating her lunch and keeping her ears pealed for any signs of the search crews, dogs or (knowing Oscar) the Royal Canadian Mounties. She felt much calmer on a full stomach and stared out at the rippling water as she began to weigh her options. She did have deep feelings for Oscar and had thought she was in love with him. What if Steve was right, though, and it was merely passion? Was this how the rest of her life would be, if she chose to spend it with Oscar: search teams aiming to rope her and drag her in every time she yearned for a little private, quiet time to herself? Jaime was too much of a freespirit to be kept on such a short leash; she knew she could never adjust to that kind of life.

Then, there was Steve. He was almost like a third arm, an extra appendage - he was that much a part of her. Their lives had been intertwined for as long as she could remember, but did that mean their futures were, too? Was she still in love with him, or just staying with him because he was 'comfortable'?

Jaime looked closer at the river itself and saw a bottle bobbing toward her in the current. It looked like there was a piece of paper stuffed inside, and it reminded her of when she and Steve used to play 'pirates' and send each other messages via bottles in the stream. Smiling nostalgically, she waded out to retrieve the bottle, then sat back down to examine the contents.

_Ahoy, Matey!_ it began, and Jaime shook her head - no possible way it could be...but it was. She read on: _Not sure which river or stream you've chosen, so there are_ _a half-dozen of these bottles floating around DC's waterways. I just hope one of them will find you. I understand what you're doing and why, so that's why I'm not out there scouring the countryside, searching for you. I know you'll come home again, when you're ready. I'm hoping your heart will let you know that 'home' still is and always will be with me. I love you, and I need you. Please come home soon._ It was signed with a giant "S", exactly the way he'd signed his pirate messages as a little boy. Tears formed once again in her eyes, but this time they were happy ones, as she rose from the riverbank to follow what she knew her heart had been trying to tell her all along.

------

Steve and Oscar stood toe-to-toe in the office, their faces flushed with jealousy and fury, each silently daring the other to make the next move. Callahan decided that instead of calling Security on the Director of the OSI, she'd find someone like Russ, Jim or even Rudy, who could intercede and get them to stop. She was about to board the elevator when the doors opened and the subject of the fight herself stepped out into the outer office.

"Jaime...? You - might not wanna go in there. They're gonna hurt each other."

Jaime glanced over at the door, and although there was only silence at the moment, the tension was so palpable she could feel it in the air, could almost taste it. "Peggy, I want you to go downstairs and just hang out 'til this is over. I'll take care of it."

"But, Jaime, I -"

"_Go now!_"

Jaime opened the inner door so quietly that it made no noise and neither combatant noticed. She hadn't heard whatever had preceded this, but as she stood there Oscar's face turned from red with anger to reddish-purple with nearly uncontrollable fury. He pulled his arm back, preparing to take a swing, when Jaime stepped between them and grabbed the arm firmly in mid-air, right before it would've connected with Steve's face.

"_What_ are you doing? Have you completely lost every last one of your brain cells? You might be wearing a suit and tie but you're acting like a caveman! I'm not a possession you can fight for and see who wins, and I'm not some fugitive who needs to be dragged back here by a dozen walking-talking robots!"

Having said her piece, Jaime turned to Steve and smiled. "Ahoy, Matey. Let's go home."

END


End file.
